To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
