I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
