if i can run in heels then i can drive
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Randomize
