worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I have aggressive nipples.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
