if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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