I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
