i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
