You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
