I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
we're making bets on your personal life
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
