Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
