I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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