I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
In other news, I just burned my penis
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
