everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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