even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
