Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
