Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
