I will die if light touches me.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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