i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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