if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
