I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
