we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
