so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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