If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
