Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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