My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
