i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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