what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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