I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
