Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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