I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
