3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Don't tell me you're on acid again
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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