idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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