Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
