Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
