I must be too annoying 4 u.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
