if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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