So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
