If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
