Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
