First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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