Cold hands, warm shart.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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