I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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