Pants 0. Shit 1.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
