There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
