he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
if only i could text you this smell
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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