it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
