I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
