I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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