I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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