i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
