She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
im holly from the hills drunk
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
