Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
