He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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