let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You pole danced in your parka.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
